I read a theory/belief some new age spiritualists share that got my brain juices flowing. They like to see it as we are of two halves. Our ego is our baser self. I am concious, I am me! I am an individual. Our higher self is our subconcious, our more divine being. Our higher conciousness is trying to drive/steer our ego-driven selves in the right direction for our soul’s betterment. Towards our purpose in life. The higher conciousness isn’t in direct control, our ego is, it communicates via the subconciousness and trying to send messages to us via like deja vu, etc. This resonated with me, because I feel this way. Be it a side effect of us being plural/a system, or maybe for another, unbeknownst reason.
It’s that certain feeling when you dissociate, everyone dissociates at least a little bit. The common example is when you zone out while driving, yet get to your destination safely, but have little memory of being actively aware during the drive. It’s like that for us but more often. “Get in the giant robot Shinji!” It feels like we are struggling to drive this meat suit body, that will act on auto-pilot if we fail to concentrate and “drive” it. We don’t “switch” personalities very often, I (Roxas) am the ‘host’ and “drive” the most. But sometimes, when I focus, it feels almost like I am not the body itself, I am a seperate entity, giving directions to this autonomous, meat body who would act on baser impulse if not “driven” constantly. Ever catch yourself going into a room or just staring at the open fridge, with no recollection of why you went there? Almost like on instinct/autonomously.
I don’t know if I am properly expressing/describing their beliefs about our ego and our higher selfs. We need to realize that we are all connected and reduce our egos, to be closer in touch to our higher selves, but I am not here to preach to anyone. We all walk different paths and that is the point. Perhaps another blog entry I will go into more spiritual stuff, as I am learning alot. But I feel like we drastically change in different stages of our lives, who we once were years ago, are dead. Totally different than who we now are, we are still constantly evolving and growing. And in some cases, unfortunately, de-evolving. Perhaps at the end of this life, we will hit the eject button and get to drive a whole new entity/body. Maybe, but in the meantime, we got to keep on trucking.